Thursday, December 13, 2007

Wow, 37

Hmmmm... Feels kind of like 36, and 25 and 18 for that matter. Odd, I am on the downward slide to 40 and I still feel like I am a kid. At least, I don't feel like an adult.

When I was younger I imagined that there were periods in ones life, like ages or epochs, periods that were somewhat severed from what had come before. I thought, "When I am 30 I will feel like I am an adult, and when I am forty I will know that I am wiser and will feel that I am wiser."

Well it doesn't seem to work that way. There is an emotional and intellectual continuity to my inner life that I did not expect.

That is not to say that I have not changed, because I have. But it has been through a process, an evolution of the mind. And though I have had an epiphany or two in my life, they do not seem to be the moments of great change that sever my thought or emotional life from what they were before. Instead the changes, deep as they are, seem to be somehow more subtle than I thought they would be.

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